Dear Julian
by madasmonty
Summary: There is a lot Jenny Thornton wants to say to Julian. Things she wished she'd said when she had the chance. These are the letters she never sent. Please read and review! Multi-chaptered; Being added to.
1. One Month

**One Month**

Dear Julian,

Every day is sliding by so slowly. Life is dragging by. The world here is so much different from Shadow World. There are so many more people, and so much less space. Time flew by so quickly and was so insignificant in your world, and now it's hard to go back, but I know I must.

Michael and Dee have moved in together. They are happy now, thanks to you. You changed them. You changed all of us. Zach and Summer are dating. It's wonderful that he's interested in something other than photography and art. And Tom. He and I are together. You taught him that I'm more than an object. You showed him how to love me like a human being. But he's not you.

They never truly forgave you, you know. I see it in their eyes when I speak of you. They think me mad to remember you. They all want to forget; to move on. But I can never move on from you.

I don't know why I'm even bothering to write this letter. But I needed to express my feelings in some way, even if you never read this.

I do love you. I never said it to you. I couldn't face it at the time. But, now you're gone, I know it's true. You made me feel alive. _You_ were alive. The most wonderful person I have ever met. If only I had seen it sooner. If only it hadn't taken your death to make me realise how much I need you.

The one wish that I send to the stars every night is this: That you will come back. I've never missed anyone as much as I miss you. Please come back.

Yours forever,

Jenny Thornton


	2. One Year

**One Year**

Dear Julian,

It's been a year to the day. Exactly one year ago, you died for me. You told me I was my own master. You vanished into the mist. You left me.

I think of you every day, still. Summer and Zach are still together, and happier than ever. Dee and Michael have moved in permanently together and are trying for a child. I asked her to call it Julian, after you. Audrey has become a karate teacher and she loves it.

But I don't know what to do with my life. Not without you. Tom and I are looking into moving in together, once he's completed his sports scholarship and I've finished my Latin course. But that doesn't seem _right. _Nothing I do seems to fill the whole you left.

I wish I could get to the Shadow Wold to make you come back. Michael said, all it would take is for someone to re-carve your name. I could make you stay with us again. With me. If you come back soon, we can grow up together. Maybe that would make growing up more tolerable.

The truth is, I still miss you, Julian. And I still love you.

Yours eternally,

Jenny Thornton


	3. Ten Years

**Ten Years**

Dear Julian,

Once I got used to the concept of time again, it passed quickly. I am now 27 years old, a decade older than I was when I met you.

Growing up is not so bad, Julian. I can say this from experience. You meet people who change your life, and you change the lives of others. People take you more seriously, they listen to you more.

Tom and I are married now. I decided that I should take the obvious course that Fate has laid out for me. But sometimes I find our life together boring. We do the same things at the same time every day. I do the best I can to be a good wife, but I can't help but wonder what life would be like with you. There's no doubt in my mind that there would be more adventures, more surprises. I could be the Queen of the Shadow World.

Tom is now a PE instructor, and I am a journalist. But I want to publish a book at some point. I will call it _"The Forbidden Game"_ and it'll be about you. About us. About how you changed my life, and how much you truly mean to me.

Wherever you are, be safe.

Yours until the end of time,

Jenny Thornton


	4. Fifteen Years

**Fifteen Years**

Dear Julian,

32 is so young, don't you think?

I didn't want to go like this.

I wonder if you'll ever know how you truly changed my life

And, even though I'm Tom's wife,

I did love you

Heck, I still do

They say the cancer's multiplying unstoppably

I can't help wonder if you could have saved me

So I'm writing this one final letter to say goodbye

But nothing truly dies

as long as it's not forgotten

Maybe we'll be together in the Shadow Land but, until then,

Yours forever,

Jennifer Thornton


End file.
